The Paneless Window Washer
by Punished Fox
Summary: A spoof of a Popeye episode starring everyone's favorite perverted monk turned sailor, Miroku! Also stars Sango and Naraku. R


Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING!

A/N: Okay, I was watching this one episode of Popeye and I thought it would make for a good spoof. So, here is the Inuyasha spoof of the Popeye episode "The Paneless Window Washer". (You'd have to have seen the episode to fully understand its quirks.)

Miroku the Sailorman in "The Paneless Window Washer"

* * *

It was a sunny day outside the Naraku Window Cleaning Company Building. The owner himself was pacing back and forth in a huff. He stepped outside and looked around, seeing every window on every building was all nice and clean.

"Well, gotta get me some business around here…" Naraku grumbled as he went back into his building and pulled out a hose. "Hope nobody's looking…" He then saw a mud puddle and sprayed it a couple times with the hose. Every time he sprayed it, the mud got on windows and made them pretty dirty. Naraku felt that was enough so he went back in and whistled a tune (which sounded awfully familiar to the song Menomaru was using to control Kagome), carrying a bucket, sponge and squeegee. He climbed up and opened the window. "Window cleaner!" Naraku then pulled out a sponge and scrubbed the windows before cleaning them off with the squeegee. He then climbed up to the next windowsill and repeated the same process. Little did he know that the fifth window from the top was for the apartment of Sango, Professional Stenographer. Apparently, she was typing a letter to someone while her cat, Kirara, was sleeping soundly on her desk.

"Dear Playboy Magazine, your magazine disgusts me. You are blatantly misusing women in your magazine. They are all posing in the nude and some of their poses are very dirty. That is why my friend Kagome has signed up. She says it will boost her morale or whatever. Send a letter to Kagome Higurashi Box 49 Tokyo, Japan WAB BIT. Sincerely, Sango."

"Window cleaner!" Sango turned to see Naraku holding up his sponge with a smile on his face.

"Um, not today, thank you."

"Whaddya mean, why not today, thank you?"

"Because I'm going to wash them!" replied a voice. Naraku turned to see Miroku the Sailorman filling up a bucket with water. "That's why not today, thank you." Miroku stepped out the window and started to wash it. Naraku rubbed his chin with suspicion.

"Hmm, that guy is trying to run me outta business." Naraku smirked with evil and yelled "Hey, get a load of this, junior! I call this move the poisoning!" He then scrubbed the window with the sponge then washed it off and threw it in Miroku's eyes.

"Hey, whoa whoa whoa…" Miroku regained his balance then glared at his arch-enemy. "Ah, that's a load of bologna. I call this move the Woman Attractor." Miroku grabbed the sponge then started to gyrate his hips. He then moved the sponge all over the window while moving his hips then took the squeegee. Miroku took his shirt off then cleaned it dry. When he was finished, the town was nearly flooded with Miroku-crazy fangirls. "Say, I wonder which one I should allow to bear my child… right after Sango does, that is…"

"I HEARD THAT, YOU PERVERT!"

"Oh yeah? Well, I call this one the Slip and Slide!" He then took a rope and lassoed it to a pole. He grabbed it and swang like Tarzan, cleaning two windows in the process. When drying the second one, he turned around and tripped Miroku. The monk clung to the edge of the building. Fortunately, he swung his feet around so he'd get back on the windowsill.

"That's kindergarten stuff. Wait until ya get a load of this with my suspenders."

"I didn't know you wore suspenders, Miroku." Sango stated.

"There are a lot of things you don't know about me, Sango." Miroku sighed as he remembered something he did yesterday:

_FLASHBACK_

_Miroku was at a church, sitting on a chair and playing guitar. Kids sat next to him, listening to every note he was playing._

_"Jesus loves me / He loves me a lot / He gave a CD / That had Slipknot"_

_The kids all stared at him like he was weird._

_END FLASHBACK_

Miroku shook it off then hooked his suspenders (I guess…) to a windowsill. He bounced off one and scrubbed a window then scrubbed another which was far away and did this again and again until all of the windows were clean! Naraku gasped in amazement. How could he compete with his rival if his rival could do that?

"Hey, watch this." Naraku stepped inside the apartment and was pretending to clean the inside of the window.

"I'm watching it but I don't see anything…" The evil half-demon then opened the window and sucker-punched the monk. Miroku fell over but bounced back up, where he was greeted to another fist. He bounced back up again but fell victim to a third fist. "Oh, I'm falling, I'm falling, WHAM!" When Miroku bounced back, he sucker-punched Naraku and chuckled. The villain would not forget this as he closed the window on Miroku as he punched through the wall and opened it so he would be free. "You're a real pain in the neck!" Miroku pulled out his staff and clocked Naraku upside the head. The bad guy reeled back until he was walking on thin air… literally. Fortunately for him, he caught the edge of another building. Miroku ran after him but the two traded fists back and forth. Sango walked out of her apartment and was standing on the edge of the building, cheering on Miroku. The two combatants fought all the way up to the top of the buildings. Naraku looked around for something to club the monk with so he found a conveniently placed ladder and drove into Miroku's midsection. The monk started to fall and when Naraku threw the ladder at him, he fell off but ran up the steps of the ladder. Naraku saw him dangling from the edge and stomped on the hands of Miroku so he'd fall. It worked but Miroku caught the hands of Sango. The two looked to have fallen to their doom when Sango lost grip but luckily, Kirara caught their fall. The two sighed hoping to have won the battle but Naraku was waiting. He grabbed Miroku by the foot and tied him to a flagpole.

"So you're a window washer, eh?" taunted the evil lord. He then struck a match and the rope was about to break. "Now do you want me to clean your windows?" Naraku turned to Sango and started to choke her. Miroku saw this and frantically searched in his robes for something. He pulled out a can of Viagra and the Popeye music started to play in the background. Miroku quickly devoured all of the Viagra and the rope began to reattach itself. The monk glared at Naraku, who was still choking poor Sango. He ran over and beat him up with a flury of fists. He gave him a brutal uppercut which sent him to the top of the building once more. Miroku capitalized by pounding holes into the brick wall and climbing up them. Just then, he grabbed Naraku by the neck.

"Hang onto your hats! BLAMMO!" The monk once again punched the evil lord who was falling to the ground. Miroku used his enhanced speed to run down the stairs as quick as The Flash then got to the bottom. Naraku was then punched into his own building. "You're all washed up!" the monk yelled as Naraku landed head-first into his cash register which proclaimed 'No Sale'. Miroku turned to the building and flipped up the sills and got to Sango. He put his arm around her and sang:

"I'm Miroku the Sailorman / Miroku the Sailorman / My tank's full of gas / When I grope some chick's ass / I'm Miroku the Sailorman!"

"Ow! Quit groping me!"

SLAP!

END

A/N: Well, there is my first Inuyasha fic. I hope you like it!


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